Overly Gracious, or Not Gracious Enough?

I find myself thinking about a phrase that has been said to me in various instances over the course of my life.

“You know, you don’t have to say ‘thank you’ so often.” Or something of the sort.

It baffles me.

Commonly - but not ironically - it’s the person working the back of house in a restaurant, or the executive chef working expo. Other times, it could be the cashier at the local store, the deckhand, a partner, a friend.. you name it.

On the other hand, there is a phrase I have been saying to myself for many years, starting around the time I started working with plant medicine.

“Thank you to the spirits. The earthly beings, otherworldly beings - thank you for your kindness, your patience.. thank you for this blessing, awareness, for your generous support. Thank you for this moment.” A gracious sentiment so energetically charged it could burst. Originally I took a moment of acknowledgment with these words before every meal, then it started to come up more frequently throughout the day.

A moment of excitement - thank you.

A moment of worry - thank you.

A moment of confusion - thank you.

A moment of choosing - thank you, thank you, thank you.

It might not come up as often for me now, but this is how she works. It’s a clear call, and with that moment brings awareness. It brings the work. In these moments I am not just saying the mantra frivolously, I am feeling it - deeply. More or less, when I say thank you, I can assure you: I am so deeply and genuinely appreciating you.

I can tell you graciously that it started with my parents, and was ingrained at a young age. “Please and thank you. Look them in the eye.” My mother was stern, and rest assured, we would be polite. Now though, it’s a deep rooted appreciation for everyone, their services, my surroundings, the planet, the beings..Thank You.

When I once again hear that phrase “you know you don’t have to say thank you every time” I might feel sad for that person, but mostly - I feel glad for me. Glad for awareness. For graciousness. I can choose in those moments to keep doing what feels right for me.

I know I can have a sharp tongue and some dark days, but damn - you won’t ever hear me telling anyone to be less gracious.